I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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