ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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