Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i was born a porn star she said
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
