that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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