Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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