Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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