She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
