this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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