There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Sorry about my life...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
