Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well I just put wine in my tea
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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