doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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