Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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