I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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