can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
