Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
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