so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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