dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
