i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You were trust falling into bushes
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
