Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
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My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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