Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
