she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
