i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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