No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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