yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
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After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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