just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
