I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
