whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
