I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
