first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
