bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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