Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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