The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
When did angry sex become our thing?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I have post one night stand depression
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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