Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Vodka?
Forever.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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