Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm both gender and math confused
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
