Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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