he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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