When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
