People in love make me want to vomit
He kissed a someone with a penis
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Your cock deserves a montage
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
