How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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