Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
