My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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