Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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