Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
And then my night got REAL pukey
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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