After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
