Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
