Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
