walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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