Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
