Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
