soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
