that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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