does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
