i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
