Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
