hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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