: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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