It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
