i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
