Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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