grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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