She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
