I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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