i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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