The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
