why didn't you poke me back
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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