Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
